Let’s Talk About Sex II

Sex can be many things but it’s not uncommon for couples to be frustrated, even disappointed. Like marriage, our culture and media leave us with an expectation that it will flow naturally and both will experience ecstasy.  Last week we addressed being vulnerable and expressing what brings you pleasure and sharing your desires. Communication is key but research shows that the best sex is typically between couples that have been married several years.  Why? Because for most couples it takes time, practice, and patience.


This week try one of these ideas:


In the early days of marriage finding time for sex was easy but as life rolls in we have kids, job responsibilities, bills, and committee meetings. The person that’s expected to understand, and take second seat, is the most important person in your life. Make time for sex just like you would your best client. If need be, put it on the calendar. The dishes and laundry can wait, skip the next episode, and go to bed together, and earlier, so you have time to decompress and devote to one another physically and mentally.

Make it FUN

Change locations- sex doesn’t always have to be in the bedroom or in the house. Be a little daring. Grab a blanket and find a place outside, under the stars, at the beach. Pack a picnic, your favorite beverage, and find the perfect spot.  There’s a reason it’s called the Mile High Club and a beverage named SEX ON THE BEACH!


Typically, the longer we’re married the more comfortable we become and sometimes we’re lazy in the bedroom. A t-shirt is fine but sometimes we need to take some advice from the Song of Solomon and prepare. Dress for bed. If she likes a clean shaven face and cologne then shave and put on her favorite scent. If he lingers on soft, smooth skin, then indulge in fragrant lotions and oils. If he likes baby doll pajamas or a black lace gown, wear it. If she likes rose petals and candles, light them.

“My beloved is mine and I am his; he browses among the lilies. Until the day breaks and the shadows flee, turn my beloved, and be like a gazelle or like a young stag on the rugged hills.” -Song of Solomon 2:16-17 NIV